ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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