The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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