At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
