I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
