Where is the hickey?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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