she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
