Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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