I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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