So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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