Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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