with your own penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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