Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There r osticjed everywhere
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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