we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
