its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
