I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
