The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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