Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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