I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
