she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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