farters have to be the big spoon...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize