508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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