I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
