Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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