You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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