jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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