next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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