i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just pee around me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
