So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
