I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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