Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
