Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
