Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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