Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
