ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
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josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize