I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
