I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
