Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
