Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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