the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
