Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
