i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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