I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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