saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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