You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize