1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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