We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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