Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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New game: find the sober person in Tbell
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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