So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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