and you said cock pushups were impossible
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
