How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
