You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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