Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
