Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
