He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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