After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
