he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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