Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Randomize
